We need to talk about the shadow

I want to catalyze a public conversation about the need to work with shadow in our civic life.

There.  I said it out loud. That’s the work that my soul feels called to do. 

I’m writing this on Jan 21th, the day after we simultaneously commemorated Martin Luthor King’s dream and the inauguration of the first convicted felon to ever become President.  I’m sure that I’m not alone in feeling that this moment has compelled me to think deeply about what is mine to do in the months and years ahead.  This is the clarity that surfaces for me. 

It’s a sense of purpose inspired by one of my role models, Brene Brown.  She decided many years ago to create a public conversation about shame and vulnerability, and it’s been inspiring to see how effective she has been at generating interest and conversation about a topic that had previously been very hard to discuss publicly.  Thanks to her efforts, individuals and organizations around the world now have entirely new levels of awareness, knowledge, and skill related to working with shame and vulnerability.
I feel called to do for shadow what Brene has done for shame and vulnerability. 

I’ve spent the last decade of my life developing an approach that invites individuals to turn inwards and confront their own shadow in ways that are both powerful and scalable.  I know many people explore this terrain in the context of personal growth experiences or therapy, but my work has always been in the context of civic leadership.  I’ve worked with idealistic AmeriCorps members engaged in a year of citizen service, and with military vets asking themselves if they feel called to run for elected office.  At this point I’ve guided thousands of individuals through this experience.
After years of engaging with this work, I’ve arrived at two key insights:

First, this work represents a foundational spiritual shift that we all must make at this moment of volatility and uncertainty.  This work guides participants through a shift from “I’m a good person, and they are bad people, so my work is to confront them” to “I have light and shadow within myself, and I must begin to work skillfully with my own inner wholeness”.  Again and again, I’ve seen that when people achieve this mindset shift, it changes the way they understand the challenges in the world around them and the work they need to do to create positive change.  It’s a powerful and important piece of personal growth that we can all do  to transform the energy of polarization, dehumanization, and “othering” that is so intense in the world right now.

Second, I’m continually struck by how few people have been invited to do this work in clear and productive ways.  While many people have heard of the concept of shadow, very few individuals have been guided through the work of confronting it within themselves in ways that create the mindset shift described above.  I’ve had the immense privilege to do this work with some highly accomplished and experienced individuals:  Sitting members of congress, veterans of elite military units, senior leaders in the business and nonprofit sectors, social entrepreneurs from around the world.  These are highly educated, experienced, and successful individuals who have been through some of the most respected leadership development institutions in the world…yet they have never been invited to confront their shadow. 

 That needs to change.  I’ve come to believe that we have hit the limits of our abilities to respond effectively to the challenges of this moment without working consciously and skillfully with shadow.  As long as we live with conflict and division within the self, we will continue to call forth conflict and division in the world around us.  When we learn to confront and work with wholeness--both light and shadow—within ourselves, we will begin to call forth wholeness and integration in the world around us.

 This is the work that I describe in my forthcoming book, entitled Developing Servant Leaders at Scale:  How to Do It and Why It Matters.  Much of my consulting and training focuses on this process, and I’ll be discussing it frequently in my writing in the months ahead.  In the meantime, I’ll leave you with this quote from Carl Jung, who had much to say about the shadow:

“One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious.”